osteoderm « Means of Seeing

February 10, 2010

another case for self-advocacy

Filed under: random — Tags: advocacy, doctor — osteoderm @ 8:42 am

I just got back from the clinic and pharmacy. Down the hatch with three different drugs, and let’s hope for the best! After entering day 7 or 8 of sickness (the days/dates are getting blurry), and enduring several straight nights of sleepless blood-spitting coughing agony, it was finally time to endure the American Industrial Medical Complex and seek treatment.

Of course, I’m uninsured. It’s taken me a couple years to really understand that my apathetic attitudes towards health-care have been engendered by a Canadian upbringing; it’s hard to get into the habit of being concerned about something which you have always been led to assume is essentially comprehensive and free.
The third clinic I tried this morning turned out to be the charm (one other closed, one other not accepting walk-ins). $75 for the doctor, $64 for the drugs: $139 for labour and materials. Not bad, if you compare it to any bill a mechanic, electrician, or other technical tradesman might leave you with. And really, I think that’s the best way to approach the doctor: like a skilled tradesman who is working for you, and who needs to perform to your expectations.

This time, as for the other 3-4 times I’ve been to a doctor over the past few years, was for bronchitis. I am now officially annoyingly familiar with bronchitis and pneumonia. A lifetime of asthma and several bouts of pneumonia have left me a bit of a pulmonary wreck. I might even qualify as an expert, as least with respect to my own lungs. As such, I find it very annoying when any doctor does a quick poke, prod, listen to the breathing, and dashes off yet another prescription for a broad-spectrum antibiotic.
I am against such prescriptions on principle; antibiotic use/abuse engenders “super-bugs” and is hard on your body. Antibiotics have their place in medicine, but are not the panacea many doctors seem to treat them as such. More importantly, the primary cause of bronchitis is almost always viral; only 5%-10% of bronchitis cases can be attributed to bacteria. Only one doctor I’ve ever seen has brought this fact up, asserting that antibiotics are generally useless against viral bronchitis.

This is just one of those things that people have a right to assert and/or question when at the doctor’s office. I think far to many folks go in scared or nervous, and unquestioningly accept whatever they’re told. I’m no medical expert, but I said, I know my body and I know bronchitis.
I have to admit, I wasn’t too sure about heading into a clinic (at least until my health was so bad that I really needed to), in no small part because I wasn’t relishing the prospect of butting heads with yet another abrupt antibiotic-slinging clinician. Luckily, the doctor I drew today didn’t baulk at my questioning. Yes, I ended up with an antibiotic along with everything else, but only after voicing my objection and being reassured that it was to guard against the strong possibility of a secondary infection (more than likely given how long I’ve been sick). The doctor also honoured my disinclination towards inflammatory drugs and steroids.

Well, lucky me… I’m still sick, but armed with pills, potion, and puffer, I’m hoping to be mended up soon enough. Still sick, but optimistic!

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February 3, 2010

it tastes just like… cardboard.

Filed under: food — osteoderm @ 2:51 pm

It’s been about a month now, and I’ve been sticking to it. The new diet, that is. Maybe diet is the wrong word; it’s more like feeding scheme. I’ve been oh-so-good at procrastination all these years, certainly in the area of diet and exercise. I’m still procrastinating about going to see the (recommended to me by a friend) nutritionist, but at least I’ve somehow managed to make some solid and radical shifts in the way I eat.

First off, the cold-turkey stuff. No more added fats; butter, oil, cream, etc., excepting a little cold flax oil on a salad now and then. No more bread and pasta; actually, I’m aiming for no more wheat at all, at least no more gluten. No more fruit juice. No more starches; no potatoes, no rice.
My dairy intake is now limited to non-fat organic plain yoghurt, and the very rare serving of cheese. Now that I’ve been training myself to see fruit as sugar, and sugar as massive low-quality caloric intake, I’m pretty much right off of fruit. I’m trying to get in a few servings of fruit per week, but always combined with a protein. For fruit, I’ve been sticking to dried mulberries, blueberries (very few!), and apples.

Now, for what I have been eating. Raw veggies; these are “free”. I prefer “crunchy” over leafy or mushy; I must be eating 10 raw cucumbers a week, along with cauliflower, grape tomatoes, carrots, and fennel. During this period, I have discovered that I am indeed allergic to celery. I’ve also become a fool for raw organic almonds. I’m not (yet) a vegetarian, but I’m seeing more easily how I could become one. I’ve stocked my freezer/fridge with boneless/skinless chicken breasts and trimmed lean pork loin chops, pre-cut into 1/2-size portions and individually wrapped/frozen.
Alone with what I don’t eat, and what I do eat, I’ve been paying much attention to when I eat. My (largely successful) goal has been to eat 5-7 times each day. I am learning to keep food with me at all times; the moment I begin to feel the least big hungry, or feel my energy dropping, I’ll drink a glass of water and eat a dozen almonds, a cucumber, or a carrot. Even better, I’m trying to make myself eat before I feel any hunger, regularly every 2-3 hours.

Naturally, I’m eating out much much less these days. When I do, I’m scanning the menu for health. So far, the one real “cheat” I allow myself is sushi; it’s too expensive to bulk up on, and I figure good sushi is not such a bad indulgence.

Still, there are those times… Craving bread has been the worst. Not just bread, but dough. I’d give most anything for a consequence-free pizza. Bagels. Bagels with cream cheese. Huge sandwiches. Uhg. It’s in these moments that I’m finding myself most-tested… And so, as I am right this moment, I can be occasionally found eating my fill, bulking up, eating, chewing, and swallowing just for the feel of it. Today’s weapon of choice? Air-puffed millet, dry out of the sack. Yeah, not so indulgent after all, but it stuffs my face just fine.

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January 24, 2010

browsing

Filed under: gadgets,learning — osteoderm @ 9:33 am

As much as I enjoy and use Google services, I’ve found myself engaged in a gentle resistance against all Google, all the time. So it was with just a little quiet sigh of resignation that I installed Google’s new Chrome web-browser on my machine.

I’ve been using Firefox user since 3.0. I flirted with Opera for awhile, back in my Windoze days, but got hooked by the speed gains of Firefox 3.5, as well as the great add-on collection and support. IE finally has picked up a few of the features of both these other browsers, but now that I’ve become a Linuxophile, all closed-source Microsoft crap has been banned from my pc.
But on to Chrome. After a day of browsing and testing, Chrome is looking… fast! The interface is very minimalist, but most all the features are still there, even if a few of them are buried. Even with a few extensions (google voice and gmail checkers, adblock), the browser window is a very lithe affair. The “omnibar” (combined search and address bar) works well enough, but it’s not obvious what service you’re using to search with; Google is the default, of course, but I find myself preferring Firefox’s discrete search box with its obvious selection of search engines.
The big deal about Chrome is still the speed. On my machine, it benchmarks 80%-300% better than Firefox. With HTML5 video fully-enabled, youTube, vimeo, etc., show blazing smooth lag-free playback, although I do note a touch more pixelation. But that speed! My box is no powerhouse, but Chrome and public DNS make for a seriously snappy browsing experience.
I am, however, noticing a little trouble here and there. For instance, my WP admin page shows a few render goofs, minor mangled buttons, etc. Also, the trade-off for Chrome’s multi-threaded approach seems to be a slightly greater static memory usage and a tendency to keep the CPU at full-blaze. Not enough to fail on, but evidence that Chrome is still very much a bleeding-edge browser, based on truly new technologies.
Firefox, for me, is not usurped, just shuffled a bit to the side; I’ll still be using Firefox for critical work, content creation, and alongside other CPU-intensive tasks. But it’s that raw speed, combined with the uncluttered interface and large viewing pane, that may well keep me using Chrome for casual browsing.

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January 20, 2010

I’m working it out… but will I ever manage to pay myself for it?

Filed under: learning — osteoderm @ 4:48 pm

The single most stressful issue in my life right now has got to be the process of getting paid. As more and more of my work falls into the “self-employed” category, the billing and payment process is becoming both more important and more difficult.

The first issue is with charging my work out at a rate that both satisfies my need for income with my desire to charge no more than I would want to pay for such work myself. Coming from the point of view of someone who can readily accomplish most any task I set myself too, I find it very difficult to charge money for that which comes easily to me. The attitude I find myself up against is one of “If I can do this, then anyone can do it, and if anyone can do it, it can’t be worth that much, right?”.
I also find it very difficult to justify charging out for work that I might otherwise do for free, as in the case of a helping hand for friends or family.
When friends try to assure me that I’m only charging what is fair and expected for such work, I find myself feeling suspicious of their words, feeling like they’re only supporting some sort of self-perpetuating capitalist greed.
On top of all this maelstrom of internal debate, I’m also finding it very difficult to discover exactly how much is standard for the work I do. Income, especially among the self-employed, feels like a very touchy subject; nobody really wants to discuss exactly how much they make. This is especially true amongst different tradespeople on the same jobsite! What discoveries I’ve made suggest that my own current rate is low to middling, even though it often feels like a phenomenal amount to me.

When I’m preparing a bill, I find myself invariably filled with dread of the moment of presentation; that first reaction from a client can really break me! Even when paid a fixed price or working against an agreed-upon amount, I almost always feel guilty about accepting payment for anything short of some prolonged and/or herculean physical effort.
About the only time I can gladly accept payment is when there is some sort of disconnect between the amount billed out and the amount paid out (as when an employer charges out labour, then pays out their employee some percentage), or when the person I’m billing is truly and properly so rich that whatever I’m charging is but a drop in the bucket.
Of course, there are always those rare (and hopefully, brief) situations where I’m charging out time to some disgusting asshole or greedy prick for whom I have no respect, and have neither intention nor desire to continue working for. Those jerks I will gladly charge as much as I can squeeze out of them, in the unusual occasion I get stuck with such a one.

In the meantime, I keep on working, stressing, and trying to find that “just right” balanced rate; one that is fair for the work done, and alarms neither my clients nor myself.