am i wasting my breath?

Hanging with friends last night, someone asked me to email them with my travel stories. i assured them that i would, and Slacks backed me up, saying, “Oh yeah he’ll definately email you. He’s an email writing machine.”
Well, maybe. i go through spurts. It’s time for more consistancy, i suppose.
i have some friends who write me from time to time, and i tend to respond with less frequency. i think it’s because i seldom write when i don’t have much to say. On the other hand, when i do write, it’s because i’m excited aabout some ideas i’d like to share, or really want to know how things are going at the other end. Seldom do i ask for (or provide) pleasantries, ie., “How are you? I’m just fine!”
i’m starting to get pissed off at those situations where i write and write, and am sincere about every word i send, and get nothing in return. Am i wasting my words? At the same time, i’m becoming more and more aware of the people who still write to me “now and then”, even when i seldom reply.
My best pen-pal is my friend Jo. We’ll often go weeks or months without any contact, but when we do write to each other, it’s with great emotion and sincerity. i rest assured that when she needs me, she’ll write, and when i need her, she’ll respond.
i guess i’m just sick of people blowing smoke up my ass, with “I’m so stoked to hear from you!”, or “It’s so good to be in touch so we can talk about things and stuff!”, and then seldom, if ever, hear from them. i realize that there’s folks who are curious about what i’m up to, and who would rather just observe; that’s okay, but don’t celebrate our “great connection” then blow me off. i greatly enjoy friendship, even with the occasional hardship, difficulty, and pain, but i don’t need any more aquaintences.
i’ll have to get better at that myself, i guess. so… i hope to hear from you soon (you all know who you are), and if my own letter to you is abscent, i’ll be making my ammends.


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