jesse says

…words to the effect of praise or wonder at my “adventuresome lifestyle”. i tried to tell her about what i felt i’ve given up for “all this”. i had a hard time explaining it. Well, of course, ’cause look at what i do have. Still, i most days have this feeling in the back of my mind (or the bottom of my heart) that i live the way i do because i’m incapable of anything else.